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How to Easily and Quickly Remind Yourself to See Possibilities

Message 3, January, 2021

Dear Guest,

January is a dark month where I live in central Ohio. The days are short, the skies are gray, the landscape is covered with patches of dirty snow and brown grass. And just when we need it the most, we all take down our bright, sparkly holiday lights. Who made that depressing rule?!

During all this darkness, it takes a big effort to remind myself that I am a possibility chooser. I’m not trying to force myself to be artificially positive because that doesn't fit me very well (see message 2), so I’m simply choosing to see what else could be. I think that’s a really powerful decision, and I’m living proof that it works.

So a few years ago, I decided that I needed to have a reminder in front of my face, where I couldn't miss it, about my choice to see possibilities. I dug a strand of lights back out of the boxes of Christmas decorations we’d just packed up, and I hung those lights over our back door, where I could see them in passing dozens of times every day.

My family humors me on this. They don’t really understand why I enjoy looking at this single strand of lights so much, or why I leave them up to twinkle at me until the days start looking a lot brighter and longer, sometime in March (ok, maybe most years I leave them up until April).

Today, I’d like to suggest that you find something simple to remind you that you can see possibilities, too. I highly recommend putting up a strand of lights, but by all means, do whatever is going to work best for you. If that means wearing a special bracelet, sticking a note on your mirror, or setting a lock screen on your phone, well, what really matters is that it’s your decision just for you. Keep it simple and easy, though, because the last thing you need is to weigh yourself down with trying to do this perfectly or so-called “right.”

Don’t let anything stop you and don’t overthink this! You might even try looking at one thing for a few days and, if you decide it’s not working for you, then you can try something else. Don’t give up on seeing possibilities, even if the people around you think you’re being ridiculous. You are training yourself, one tiny step at a time, to encourage yourself.

Remember this isn’t about the other people in your life, it’s about you. I’m most certainly NOT going to suggest that you should want to do this because you should want to be a better caregiver. Trust me, I know you are already doing a good job as a caregiver. This is about who you want to be in every part of your life and work.

If you want to lead a more fulfilling life, you have to start by noticing what YOU need. Remember how to focus on what you want and what creates happiness and possibilities for you, and your life will open up in ways you can’t imagine yet.

That’s it for today! Pick out your reminder to cue you to think about possibilities and I’ll see you back here for message number four. In the next message, I will give you another small step to help you see possibilities.

Kay Coughlin


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Copyright 2020, Facilitator On Fire, Galena, OH, 43021, 614.426.8062

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